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Winter Solstice 2019

December 21, 2019 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Winter Solstice

 

Do you feel it?

The moment darkness reaches its apex

And the bitter cold evokes your grief

While warmth, light and summer sun

Seem distant

You realize

The longer you live

And the seasons change

This frigid darkness

Is merely a fleeting precursor

To the return of the light

Through orbiting spheres

And the dance of all creation

Repeating itself

Again and again and again

After countless cold, dark winters

On this Winter Solstice

You choose to embrace the darkness

Knowing that this moment

Gives birth

To the light you need

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Filed Under: Beginning, Christmas, Feeling, grief, Life, New, Opportunity, Shadow, Solstice, Soul, Spirit, Winter Tagged With: #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Bliss, Chris Duel, Consciousness, Direct Experience, Duel, Follow Your Bliss, grief, Guidance, Life, Love, New Year, Soul, Spirit, Wisdom

My First Time in The Shadow of The Moon

July 11, 2019 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Chris & The Total Eclipse 1991

During the Total Eclipse on July 11, 1991

There is a Total Eclipse of the Sun coming to America on April 8, 2024.

The path of totality will streak across the sky near my San Antonio home, in Kerrville, Texas, as it makes its way across the North American continent. 

If I am blessed to be alive, I will be in the glorious, elusive shadow. 

But it won’t be my first experience in the Shadow of the Moon.  It will be my third. First in 1991, and then again in 2017.

As with many things in life, there is nothing like your first…

Twenty-eight years ago today, at high noon, I watched day turn to night in the ancient Aztec village of Ixtlán de las Garzas, Mexico.

For nearly eight minutes (the longest total solar eclipse of the 20th Century) I was bathed in the dark, fleeting Shadow of the Moon.

The Sun disappeared. The stars sparkled in the eerie twilight sky at midday as the temperature fell several degrees.

It was an experience so cosmically profound that its mystical echo reverberates through my psyche all these years later.

Within minutes of the darkness, the Sun emerged from behind the Moon and daytime returned across Mexico.

For human beings to be directly in the Shadow of the Moon is a very rare event. You must either find a way into the path of a total solar eclipse or have been one of the 27 Apollo astronauts who circled around the dark side of the Moon in the late Sixties and early Seventies.

While viewing a lunar eclipse (the Moon moving into the Earth’s shadow) or a partial solar eclipse (the Sun not fully obscured by the shadow of the Moon) is relatively common, a total solar eclipse is one of the rarest celestial events to be witnessed from this planet.

This transcendent moment was especially meaningful because I shared it with one of my dearest friends, Henry Iglesias, a singer-songwriter and Renaissance man.

Henry and his family were originally from Mexico, so watching this eclipse from his native soil was especially meaningful to me.

Henry was my guide into his ancestral homeland and into the Shadow of the Moon.

1991 Mexico Eclipse

With Henry, hours before the 1991 Mexico Eclipse

Those moments in the Moon’s shadow with Henry were among the most magical moments of my life.

Henry In The Shadow of The Moon

Henry In The Shadow of The Moon

 

In 2007, much too young, Henry left this Earthly existence.  He was taken by a brain tumor nine months after his diagnosis.

Every July 11th, I think of Henry and I think of those few moments in the Shadow of the Moon.

In honor of the Henry and the Eclipse, I offer you two expressions…

The first is a poem of mine and the second is Henry’s quintessential offering, the last song he wrote and produced before his passing.

First, mine…

A remembrance of our time in the Moon’s shadow…

 

 

“With Henry, In The Shadow Of The Moon”

Another time

Another century

Another life.

But the time

And the century

And the life

Were mine.

And his.

Planets were aligning

Celestial spheres inexorably drawn.

Eleventh of July, 1991.

When the heavens offer a gift

You must be present to receive.

He led me into Mexico

The land of his birth

The land would birth me

To transcendence

To bliss

To awe.

I knew he was my friend

I know he was my shaman

Guiding me to the light

And the shadow

Where few have truly been:

Astronauts orbiting the lunar dark side

And fortunate few on the planet

Or dreamers like us

Who seek the shadow.

We arrived on hallowed ground

On ancient Aztec soil

Eyes cast skyward

The shadow rushing toward us

We felt it coming

The animals, birds, insects, trees felt it coming.

All became still

Temperature dropped

Time fell away

And then, oh, so suddenly

It… all… merged…

Sun, Moon, Shadow, Earth

Moon, Earth, Shadow, Sun

Earth, Sun, Shadow, Moon

Sun, Moon, Shadow

Moon, Shadow

Shadow

Shadow

Shadow

Here.

Now.

Day turned to night.

I.

I.  See.

I. See. Stars.

I. See. Stars. At. Noon.

Henry, look at the stars!

And the Sun eclipsed by the Moon

Oh!

My!

God!

Rapt.

Bathed in the splendor

Of the cosmic dance of spheres

In holy, holy, holy communion.

Eternal

My friend, my shaman

Thank you for guiding me there

Years fly by.

You find true love

You write and sing

About the Smile of God

And Brothers of The Sky

And then, oh, so suddenly

Your body eclipsed by a brain tumor

Henry, look at the stars!

They shine with you among them.

The shadow lingers

Your spirit lives.

Another time

Another century

Another life.

If I go back

To seek the shadow

Will you meet me there?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Years before Henry died, he told me of a vision for a song titled, “Brothers of The Sky.”

It was about our ultimate brother or guide or guardian angel who will fly us from this world to the next.

The idea resonates with me, having lost my older brother Greg at a young age and more recently, having lost Henry and other dear friends and loved ones.

In the final months of his life, although he was battling a brain tumor and all of the debilitating challenges that come with it, Henry managed to record and produce his farewell song as the final track on his last album.

I see it as the culmination of his life’s work as an artist, a father, a son, a husband and a human being.

Here it is, both as a video where I added the images and Henry’s lyrics below…

“Brothers of The Sky”

Words and Music by Henry Iglesias

I am the voice inside of you

A whispering constant in your life

Everyone fears the letting go

Until they glimpse the other side

I am the voice from far away

I have the ears that hear your prayer

A guardian angel sent to say

Someone out there really cares

I’ll take your hand

When it’s time to walk into the night

Please understand

I am your brother in the sky

Traveling across the Universe

Children of the stars that burn so bright

Voyaging to foreverness

You and I are brothers of the sky

Everyone finds me their own way

In every land and everywhere

Some take a lifetime, some a day

Seeking a piece of Heaven’s share

I am the shining star above

I am the glimmer in the light

I am the power of your love

I am your brother in the sky

Just take my hand

When it’s time for you to say goodnight

And we will fly

A wondrous journey deep into the light

Traveling across eternity

Going to the place we all have been

Going to the place where souls are free

Beyond the timeless stars are friends

Traveling into the other side

The universe is all inside God’s eye

Children of the stars eternally

You and I are brothers of the sky

Do not fear your own mortality

Cause there’s more to life than meets the eye

In the end all of us will be free

Don’t be afraid to say goodbye

I’ll close your eyes

Softly close your eyes

And we will fly

Like brothers of the sky

The Universe

The Universe

The Universe

Is all inside God’s eye

Dedicated to the eternal spirit of Henry Robert Iglesias

My Brother of The Sky

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Filed Under: Bliss, Cosmos, Eclipse, Feeling, Flying, Ghosts, grief, Heaven, Henry Iglesias, Life, Love, Miracles, Moon, Music, Poetry, Shadow, Silence, Soul, Spirit, Wisdom Tagged With: #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Bliss, Chris Duel, Consciousness, Direct Experience, Duel, Eclipse, Follow Your Bliss, grief, Guidance, Heaven, Henry Iglesias, Heroes, July, Let Love Rule, Life, Love, Miracles, Moon, Poetry, Soul, Spirit

What You Came Here To Discover

November 30, 2018 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Life isn’t black and white.

Although we may wish it were.

But it’s not that simple.

Life is grey and blue and purple and red and every color of the rainbow.

Life is not what you grew up thinking it was.

Life is now.

And often contradictory and paradoxical.

Just when you think you’ve figured it out, it expands beyond your comprehension.

Yet, it’s so often wondrous and loving along the way.

Yes, we have sorrow and grief, but often these provide the contrast for us to appreciate how exquisite and sacred every moment is, every breath is.

You and I have been given a gift.

And it’s this very instant. It’s this very breath.

And the next one.

Wisdom traditions dating back to the dawn of consciousness have been trying to tell us this.

When you center yourself…

When you clear your mind…

When you get in touch with the magic of your holy breath… you can approach an understanding of the magic that surrounds you.

It is profound.

It is yours.

It is what you came here to discover.

 

 

 

#BeHereNow #ThisIsTheSacredMoment #Meditation #Breath #HolyBreath #Zen #Spirit #ACIM #DownloadingYourSoul #ChrisDuel

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Filed Under: Beginning, Bliss, Christmas, Cosmos, Dreams, Fear, Feeling, Flying, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Miracles, Opportunity, Prayers, Shadow, Silence, Soul, Spirit, Winter, Wisdom Tagged With: #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Bliss, Chris Duel, Consciousness, Direct Experience, Duel, Follow Your Bliss, grief, Guidance, Heaven, Let Love Rule, Life, Love, Meditation, Miracles, Silence, Soul, Spirit, Wisdom

Who Will Remember The Heroes of Peace?

November 11, 2018 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

I post this every year on Veteran’s Day, because I think it matters.

It’s the best piece of writing I’ve ever read.

Of course, I’m a little prejudiced. 

It was written by my sister about our brother and our father.

My personal connection to our veterans has always been through my father, Frank, and my brother, Greg. They are buried a few steps from each other at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery.

A year after Greg was killed in a fighter jet crash near Ellington Field outside Houston, my sister Kathy wrote the following Veterans Day meditation. It was published in the Houston Chronicle, the Los Angeles Times and several other newspapers nationwide.

On Veterans Day over the years, I have read it on the radio and shared it online.

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Who Will Remember The Heroes of Peace?”

by Kathleen Simpson

Veterans Day 1981

The vast Texas sky was cloudless, silent. An Indian summer sun baked the rows of small white crosses. The honor guard dressed in Air Force blue raised the flag above the casket of the young pilot. Five times the jolt of rifles cracked the air. The bugler raised the trumpet to his lips. On the breeze the strains of “Taps” lingered, faltered, breathlessly faded away. From the widow and the mother, from the sisters and the brother, from the small sea of blue-dressed men and women, there was not a whimper to hear, not a sigh.

Suddenly the silence shattered. Thundering toward the grave of the young pilot, four Phantom fighter jets screamed across the sky. Once they circled low over the rows of small white crosses, over the small blue human sea. Racing again toward the grave site, one plane broke the formation, thrust its steely nose straight up into the sun and vanished.

It is a farewell reserved for heroes. For combat aces and high ranking officers of distinguished career, the acrobats of the air fly by. But the young pilot, who was my brother, had never flown into battle. His prayer was that he would never fly to kill. Educated in the classroom of war, he abhorred the lesson that the innocent are the ultimate victims of the bomb and the sword. When he flew an F-101 jet fighter of the Texas Air National Guard on October 22, 1980, he believed in his mission to protect the innocent with his quicksilver wings of peace.

But the winged horse my brother rode that day was destined to be a Pegasus of power and peril. Seconds after he lifted the huge machine into the air from Ellington Air Force Base, an explosion ripped part of the tail from the plane. On the ground below him a crowded subdivision lay in the path of the flaming, flailing craft. A horrified witness reported: “The jet banked steeply to the left, went into a steep climb and then fell into the open field. It looked to me like the pilot intentionally turned away to avoid hitting those houses.”

In the last 60 seconds of his life, my brother’s only thought must have been of the innocent people living in the innocent safety of their homes below him. The airplane burned into the dust of a pasture just 500 yards away from those homes. The investigators retrieved his helmet from the crash. They bequeathed it to his widow, who keeps it for their small son. Sleep well, brother Greg; your prayer is answered. Never will you fly to kill.

Sifting still through the wreckage of my grief, I wonder. On the day of the Armistice of the first global war – the war that Woodrow Wilson called the war to end all wars – I wonder about the price that the governments of this century have elected to pay in the purchase of peace.

I wonder about all the brave young warriors of this peace, men and women proud of their mission, honored by their duty to safeguard our shores. Do their spouses sleep soundly while they fly through the night? Do the children play fearlessly in the schoolyard as their fathers or mothers crawl into the missile hole at day? Who will remember the heroes of this peace?

A few feet from where my brother now rests, another pilot sleeps. This man, our father, also abhorred violence and war. But as a young man my father saw havoc in the skies above Europe. Dreams of the innocent, the faceless victims of the bombs that fell from his plane, haunted his sleep every night he lived.

Dreamless now, father and son together sleep. The old veteran of war shares the soil of liberty with the young veteran of peace.

Today, the 11th day of November, at the 11th hour in the morning, flags fall to half-staff across the country in honor of the nation’s veterans. The statesmen lay huge floral wreaths at the monuments of the nameless soldiers. The widows crown the crosses of their loved ones with garlands from their gardens. Silence falls for a moment over the burial grounds of the warriors.

Then cannon volley and bugles blare. It is festival time in the graveyard. The 5-year-old son of my dead brother cheers as the mighty Phantom jets scream their power across the sky. He delights in the pageant of the parade marching by. His mother takes his small hand in hers when she cries. What will she tell him when he asks her why?

38 years later, Greg’s flight jacket hangs in my closet

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Filed Under: America, Flying, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: Air Force, America, Flying, grief, Heaven, Heroes, Love, Soul, Spirit, Veterans, Veterans Day

I dread this day every year

October 22, 2018 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

That ominous day on the calendar.

I suspect most of us have one.

The day that takes you back.

In my case, it is the day that everything changed.

Tragedy rained from the sky.

October 22nd 1980.

It has been 38 years, but this day is always dark for me.

My brother Greg, piloting a fighter jet on a routine training mission with his weapons systems officer, ascended into the October sky from Ellington Field near Houston.

Their jet’s engines flamed out seconds after takeoff.

Training and instinct would demand they eject from the flailing jet immediately.

Except for one problem.

There was a neighborhood and schoolyard in their flight path.

Instead, they chose to pull the doomed aircraft sharply into an open field to their left.

And they were gone.

No lives other than the two young heroes were lost that morning.

But countless lives were affected forever.

Lives saved and lives grieving.

All these years later, still I grieve.

I dread this day every year.

But I’m thankful for my big brother, Greg.

And I dream of joining him in the sky one day.

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Filed Under: America, Autumn, Dreams, Feeling, Flying, Ghosts, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Miracles, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: Air Force, Chris Duel, Flying, grief, Heaven, Icarus, Soul, Spirit, Veterans

Winter Solstice

December 21, 2017 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Do you feel it?
The moment darkness reaches its apex
And the bitter cold evokes your grief
While warmth, light and summer sun
Seem distant
You realize
The longer you live
And the seasons change
This frigid darkness
Is merely a fleeting precursor
To the return of the light
Through orbiting spheres
And the dance of all creation
Repeating itself
Again and again and again
After countless cold, dark winters
On this Winter Solstice
You choose to embrace the darkness
Knowing that this moment
Gives birth
To the light you need
Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice

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Filed Under: Christmas, grief, Life, Love, Opportunity, Poetry, Shadow, Silence, Solstice, Soul, Spirit, Winter, Wisdom Tagged With: #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Chris Duel, Consciousness, Direct Experience, grief, Life, New Year, Poetry, Silence, Soul, Spirit

The Last Time I Saw Greg

October 22, 2017 by Chris Duel 2 Comments

 

This is the last moment I saw my older brother Greg alive.

July 1980.

He’s goofing around and making all of us laugh, as he often did.

He was 31.

I was 19 as I took this photo.

I was a cadet at the Air Force Academy, aspiring to be a fighter pilot, like he was.

He had become an Air Force pilot like our father, who died when I was four.

We never know when we’re seeing someone we love for the last time.

We’re lulled into believing that there will be many more moments with them.

But this precious existence is fleeting.

On October 22nd 1980, Greg’s fighter jet’s engines flared out shortly after takeoff in East Texas.

Had he and his navigator ejected, the jet would have slammed into a neighborhood.

The two pilots chose to steer the flaming craft into an adjacent field instead.

That’s my brother, Greg.

Funny, Loving, Heroic.

It was 37 years ago today.

Seems like yesterday.

Seems like a million years ago.

Changed everything for countless people.

Damn, I miss him.

And I’m thankful to have had such a wonderful brother.

 

#ThisIsTheSacredMoment #BrothersOfTheSky #HighFlight

 

37 years later, Greg’s flight jacket hangs in my closet

(Above: Greg, his wife Mary Lou and children Taylor and Grant on the last day I saw him / Greg on Kelly AFB tarmac with F-100)

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Filed Under: America, Autumn, Feeling, Flying, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Flying, grief, Heaven, Love, Soul, Spirit

One Year Ago Tonight

April 8, 2017 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Our beloved furry friend transitioned into the spirit world a year ago tonight.

The kitty statuette on the left of the above photo is an urn containing her ashes.

We didn’t really adopt Blackcat.  She adopted us.

She was a feral cat outside our window for many years.

She distrusted humans.  They almost certainly hurt her. An x-ray would eventually reveal she had been shot at some time in her life.

But we crossed paths. We fed her and earned her trust.  And we became a part of her life 15 years ago.

On a cold winter’s night, she needed a warm place to sleep and we had one.

Eventually she moved in with us and became part of our family.

Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is truly saying goodbye to a member of your family.

It is gut wrenching.

She brought us love, laughter and joy.

But on this night a year ago, there were tears, sorrow and grief.

On the evenings before she passed, I would gently pet her.

She purred, as if to say, “I understand. And I love you too.”

Just before midnight, after much reluctance and soul searching, Beth took her to an animal hospital nearby to humanely end her suffering. I was working a Spurs broadcast that night, so I met them at the hospital in time to say goodbye.

The 15 years we had with Blackcat had ended. Moments like these remind us of the fleeting nature of our time together.

When I started my car to pull out of the hospital parking lot, the dashboard clock glowed 12:00 midnight and a song began on a random satellite radio station I happened to be tuned to.

The song was “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri.

I would later learn it was from the “Twilight” movie saga, which I have never seen, and I had not heard the song before.

In the raw emotion and grief of the moment, it was as if a cosmic DJ, the Universe or Blackcat herself played this song just for me.

Here are the lyrics…

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything, take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath, every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Tears streamed down my face, clouding my eyes and transforming the passing city lights, whirling by the windshield, into streaking translucent tears across the starry sky.

Souls cross paths. Human souls and animal souls.

We meet, we dance, we love.

And all too soon, we say goodbye. At least for now.

But that love is eternal.

And we will meet again.

For a thousand years. And a thousand more.

 

 

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Filed Under: Feeling, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Miracles, Music, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Chris Duel, Consciousness, Duel, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Soul, Spirit

The Last Time I Saw Greg

October 22, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Greg

This is the last moment I saw my older brother Greg alive.

July 1980.

He’s goofing around and making all of us laugh, as he often did.

He was 31.

I was 19 as I took this photo.

I was a cadet at the Air Force Academy, aspiring to be a fighter pilot, like he was.

He had become an Air Force pilot like our father, who died when I was four.

We never know when we’re seeing someone we love for the last time.

We’re lulled into believing that there will be many more moments with them.

But this precious existence is fleeting.

On October 22nd 1980, Greg’s fighter jet’s engines flared out shortly after takeoff in East Texas.

Had he and his navigator ejected, the jet would have slammed into a neighborhood.

The two pilots chose to steer the flaming craft into an adjacent field instead.

That’s my brother, Greg.

Funny, Loving, Heroic.

It was 36 years ago today.

Seems like yesterday.

Seems like a million years ago.

Changed everything for countless people.

Damn, I miss him.

And I’m thankful to have had such a wonderful brother.

 

#ThisIsTheSacredMoment #BrothersOfTheSky

 

36 years later, Greg's flight jacket hangs in my closet

36 years later, Greg’s flight jacket hangs in my closet

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Filed Under: America, Dreams, Flying, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: #BrothersOfTheSky, #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Flying, grief, Soul, Spirit

And Still I Grieve

October 22, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

october22nd

 

A father.

A husband.

A son.

A brother.

A friend.

A man.

A hero.

October 22nd 1980.

Everything changed.

In the blink of an eye.

His life ended.

And still I grieve.

 

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Filed Under: Autumn, Flying, Ghosts, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: grief

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