Equinox

March 20, 2017 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Equinox arrives

From the heavens
Amid the starry sky
Flashes of lightning
Illuminate awakening
To the season of Spring
And the end of Winter
With its loss and grief
Days growing longer
But for this moment
All is equal
Light and Darkness
Hope and Fear
Pleasure and Pain
Chaos and Serenity
The unseen world appears
Translucently amid the twilight
I open my arms
Gaze to the sky
Listen intently
To the music of the spheres
And I am equal
To the bliss
To the fear
To the love
Welcome Equinox

The Last Time I Saw Greg

October 22, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

This is the last moment I saw my older brother Greg alive.

July 1980.

He’s goofing around and making all of us laugh, as he often did.

He was 31.

I was 19 as I took this photo.

I was a cadet at the Air Force Academy, aspiring to be a fighter pilot, like he was.

He had become an Air Force pilot like our father, who died when I was four.

We never know when we’re seeing someone we love for the last time.

We’re lulled into believing that there will be many more moments with them.

But this precious existence is fleeting.

On October 22nd 1980, Greg’s fighter jet’s engines flared out shortly after takeoff in East Texas.

Had he and his navigator ejected, the jet would have slammed into a neighborhood.

The two pilots chose to steer the flaming craft into an adjacent field instead.

That’s my brother, Greg.

Funny, Loving, Heroic.

It was 36 years ago today.

Seems like yesterday.

Seems like a million years ago.

Changed everything for countless people.

Damn, I miss him.

And I’m thankful to have had such a wonderful brother.

#ThisIsTheSacredMoment #BrothersOfTheSky

36 years later, Greg’s flight jacket hangs in my closet

We are Ghosts, Sleepwalking in the Dreamscape

October 1, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

I was randomly flipping through a journal from last year and stumbled upon the passage above.

The word “ghosts” reminded me of the final track of Dan Fogelberg’s 1981 album, The Innocent Age.

The song is “Ghosts.” It’s mystical, haunting and evocative. On many levels, it’s my favorite Fogelberg tune and most people have probably never heard it.
It’s one of those songs that can take you into another dimension.

It’s fascinating that dimensions ranging from Heaven to Hell, from despair to bliss, are accessible in virtually every moment.

Here is Dan Fogelberg’s “Ghosts” via YouTube. I didn’t create the video, but it’s not a bad visualization of the song…

Brothers of The Sky

July 11, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

The longest total solar eclipse of the 20th Century – July 11, 1991

Twenty-five years ago today, at high noon, I watched day turn to night in the ancient Aztec village of Ixtlán de las Garzas, Mexico.

For nearly eight minutes (the longest total solar eclipse of the 20th Century) I was bathed in the dark, fleeting shadow of the Moon.

The Sun disappeared. The stars sparkled in the eerie twilight sky at midday as the temperature fell several degrees.

It was an experience so cosmically profound that its mystical echo reverberates through my psyche all these years later.

Within minutes, the Sun emerged from behind the Moon and daytime returned across Mexico.

For human beings to be directly in the shadow of the Moon is a very rare event. You must either find a way into the path of a total solar eclipse or have been one of the 27 Apollo astronauts who circled around the dark side of the Moon in the late Sixties and early Seventies.

While viewing a lunar eclipse (the Moon moving into the Earth’s shadow) or a partial solar eclipse (the Sun not fully obscured by the shadow of the Moon) is relatively common, a total solar eclipse is one of the rarest celestial events to be witnessed from this planet.

This transcendent moment was especially meaningful because I shared it with one of my dearest friends, Henry Iglesias, a singer-songwriter and Renaissance man.

Henry and his family were originally from Mexico, so were watching this eclipse from his native soil.

Henry was my guide into his ancestral homeland and into the shadow of the Moon.

With Henry, hours before the Total Solar Eclipse – July 11, 1991

Those moments in the Moon’s shadow with Henry were among the most magical moments of my life.

In 2007, much too young, Henry left this Earthly existence. He was taken by a brain tumor nine months after his diagnois.

Every July 11th, I think of Henry and I think of those few moments in the shadow of the Moon.

In honor of the Henry and the Eclipse, I offer you two expressions of art. The first is a poem of mine and the second is Henry’s quintessential offering, the last song he wrote and produced before his passing.

First, my poem…

A remembrance of our time in the Moon’s shadow…

With Henry, In The Shadow Of The Moon”

Another time

Another century

Another life.

But the time

And the century

And the life

Were mine.

And his.

Planets were aligning

Celestial spheres inexorably drawn.

Eleventh of July, 1991.

When the heavens offer a gift

You must be present to receive.

He led me into Mexico

The land of his birth

The land would birth me

To transcendence

To bliss

To awe.

I knew he was my friend

I know he was my shaman

Guiding me to the light

And the shadow

Where few have truly been:

Astronauts orbiting the lunar dark side

And fortunate few on the planet

Or dreamers like us

Who seek the shadow.

We arrived on hallowed ground

On ancient Aztec soil

Eyes cast skyward

The shadow rushing toward us

We felt it coming

The animals, birds, insects, trees felt it coming.

All became still

Temperature dropped

Time fell away

And then, oh, so suddenly

It… all… merged…

Sun, Moon, Shadow, Earth

Moon, Earth, Shadow, Sun

Earth, Sun, Shadow, Moon

Sun, Moon, Shadow

Moon, Shadow

Shadow

Shadow

Shadow

Here.

Now.

Day turned to night.

I.

I. See.

I. See. Stars.

I. See. Stars. At. Noon.

Henry, look at the stars!

And the Sun eclipsed by the Moon

Oh!

My!

God!

Rapt.

Bathed in the splendor

Of the cosmic dance of spheres

In holy, holy, holy communion.

Eternal

My friend, my shaman

Thank you for guiding me there

Years fly by.

You find true love

You write and sing

About the Smile of God

And Brothers of The Sky

And then, oh, so suddenly

Your body eclipsed by a brain tumor

Henry, look at the stars!

They shine with you among them.

The shadow lingers

Your spirit lives.

Another time

Another century

Another life.

If I go back

To seek the shadow

Will you meet me there?

Years before Henry died, he told me of a vision for a song titled, “Brothers of The Sky.”

It was about your ultimate brother or guide or guardian angel who will fly you from this world to the next.

The idea resonates with me, having lost my older brother Greg at a young age and more recently, having lost Henry and other dear friends and loved ones.

In the final months of his life, although he was battling a brain tumor and all of the debilitating challenges that come with it, Henry managed to record and produce his farewell song as the final track on his last album.

I see it as the culmination of his life’s work as an artist, a father, a son, a husband and a human being.

Here it is…

“Brothers of The Sky”

Words and Music by Henry Iglesias

I am the voice inside of you

A whispering constant in your life

Everyone fears the letting go

Until they glimpse the other side

I am the voice from far away

I have the ears that hear your prayer

A guardian angel sent to say

Someone out there really cares

I’ll take your hand

When it’s time to walk into the night

Please understand

I am your brother in the sky

Traveling across the Universe

Children of the stars that burn so bright

Voyaging to foreverness

You and I are brothers of the sky

Everyone finds me their own way

In every land and everywhere

Some take a lifetime, some a day

Seeking a piece of Heaven’s share

I am the shining star above

I am the glimmer in the light

I am the power of your love

I am your brother in the sky

Just take my hand

When it’s time for you to say goodnight

And we will fly

A wondrous journey deep into the light

Traveling across eternity

Going to the place we all have been

Going to the place where souls are free

Beyond the timeless stars are friends

Traveling into the other side

The universe is all inside God’s eye

Children of the stars eternally

You and I are brothers of the sky

Do not fear your own mortality

Cause there’s more to life than meets the eye

In the end all of us will be free

Don’t be afraid to say goodbye

I’ll close your eyes

Softly close your eyes

And we will fly

Like brothers of the sky

The Universe

Is all inside God’s eye

Dedicated to the eternal spirit of Henry Robert Iglesias

My Brother of The Sky

What Will You Create With This Wondrous Opportunity?

June 17, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Every day, every moment, every second is new.

You are reborn constantly, if you will only become conscious of this.

Every single possibility is open to you, right here and right now.

Do not believe in limitations.

That is an illusion that can enslave you, if you let it.

Every exploding universe, star, planet and atom since the beginning of time has conspired to bring you to this very moment here and now.

Create something wonderful.

You have the power.

That’s why you’re here.

My Little Time Machine

January 1, 2016 by Chris Duel 1 Comment

My Little Time Machine

A package I ordered from Amazon arrived at my doorstep yesterday afternoon, on the final day of the year.

It is a machine that scans and digitizes old photographic slides and negatives.

This little device, no larger than the size of a softball, may as well be a time machine because it drew me back into a world that only exists as distant memories in my mind.

A lifetime of old, dusty slides and negatives from the pre-digital era have followed me through life in shoe boxes and tattered envelopes. Luckily, I’ve had the good sense to hold onto them all of these years.

Many of these images had not been seen by human eyes in over five decades.

Until now.

As I placed them into the scanner, long lost family images suddenly flickered onto my computer screen with crisp, vibrant color and focus. I was transported back to my childhood, to a time before life became complicated and dear loved ones passed on much too soon.

In a flash, it’s the first Christmas I am aware of and I am sitting in front of a silvery Christmas tree as white morning light streams through the window.

I see the faces of my three sisters as children in the early Sixties, just as I remember them when I first arrived on this Earth.

I’m being held by my father on an Arizona highway as a toddler. He would pass on when I was four years old, but on this sunny day all is perfect in my little world.

My mother holds me close to her cheek. She is 37 and I’m not yet a year old.

I’m pushed in a stroller by my mother as my sister Beth holds my hand. It must be 1961 in this moment.

After an evening of time travel, I awakened into a new day and a new year.

It’s 2016.

How time flies.

When I was much younger, I remember adults telling me that the older you get, the faster time seems to fly by. The days, the weeks, the months, the years seem to whisk past faster than when you were younger.

When I first heard this, I figured it was just another odd thing that older people muse about. It didn’t make much sense to me.

Now I’m one of those older people. And it turns out they were right. The longer we live, the faster time seems to accelerate.

It’s nice to have a time machine.

To see those young faces. Some of them we haven’t seen in years.

To see that tiny being you used to be.

To recall the love, the innocence, the joy of life as you first felt it as a child.

That love, that innocence, that joy never goes away. It is the magic of this wondrous journey through life that is truly eternal. It is still there in the recesses of our memory.

It’s still a thought away.

It’s still a breath away.

Inexorably following us through time.

The First Christmas I Was Aware Of

My sisters Kathy, Beth and Rosemary – Early Sixties

With my father Frank – Arizona, 1961

Held by my mother – 1960

Going for a stroll with my mother Katherine and my sister Beth, 1961

Awakening to a Long Lost Friend

July 27, 2015 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

My final photo with Bill

I awakened to a bittersweet surprise this morning.

Facebook features a reminder of memories you share with friends from your page.

Fumbling for my phone upon waking from a deep sleep, I saw the message, “You have memories with Bill Gandy today.”

Bill is my brother-in-law, who was diagnosed with metastatic cancer on his 53rd birthday – December 15, 2010.

I woke up this morning to a photo from the final day we spent together as I visited him in North Carolina four years ago.

He was staying in New Bern, North Carolina at the home of Lisa Ontiveros, a friend he knew since high school, and had started a romantic relationship with in the months before his diagnosis.

Bill was a Crew Chief for American Airlines at San Antonio International Airport for many years. After the diagnosis, Lisa brought him to North Carolina to be his caregiver through chemotherapy and other treatments to battle the cancer.

On the last day I saw him in late-July 2011, we went for a ride to the beach, had pizza for lunch and sat by the pool before I had to fly home.

His last words to me at the airport were, “I love you, man. You know that.”

I love him too.

Three weeks later, on August 16, 2011, he left us.

It was almost exactly eight months after he learned of the cancer.

Bill was a wonderful friend who became a devoted, treasured member of our family.

For more than three years after his death, I never had a dream about him.

Night after night, I would hope to dream about Bill, as I have dreamt about my father, my sister, my brother and other family and friends who have transitioned into the non-physical realm.

I found it odd that I would dream about so many departed souls, yet never Bill.

I wondered if perhaps he learned something negative about me on the other side and chose not to visit me in the dreamscape.

Then, a couple of months ago, he finally appeared in one of my dreams.

Bill, as he appeared in my dream

He was young, vibrant, smiling and funny as always.

When I awoke, I could feel that I had just been in his presence.

It’s amazing how a dream can make you feel near to someone who has passed on. I don’t discount that we’re actually spending time with the spirits of loved ones in our dreams.

For all of its flaws, Facebook does have a few virtues.

In this case, it sent me an unexpected gift: waking up to the memory and the smiling face of Bill on my phone.

Bill Gandy 1957-2011

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