Chris Duel

Broadcaster, Soul Provider

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Winter Solstice

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Do you feel it?
The moment darkness reaches its apex
And the bitter cold evokes your grief
While warmth, light and summer sun
Seem distant
You realize
The longer you live
And the seasons change
This frigid darkness
Is merely a fleeting precursor
To the return of the light
Through orbiting spheres
And the dance of all creation
Repeating itself
Again and again and again
After countless cold, dark winters
On this Winter Solstice
You choose to embrace the darkness
Knowing that this moment
Gives birth
To the light you need
Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice

Who Will Remember The Heroes of Peace?

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I post this every year on Veteran’s Day, because I think it matters.

It’s the best piece of writing I’ve ever read.

Of course, I’m a little prejudiced. 

It was written by my sister about our brother and our father.

My personal connection to our veterans has always been through my father, Frank, and my brother, Greg. They are buried a few steps from each other at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery.

A year after Greg was killed in a fighter jet crash near Ellington Field outside Houston, my sister Kathy wrote the following Veterans Day meditation. It was published in the Houston Chronicle, the Los Angeles Times and several other newspapers nationwide.

On Veterans Day over the years, I have read it on the radio and shared it online.

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Who Will Remember The Heroes of Peace?”

by Kathleen Simpson

Veterans Day 1981

The vast Texas sky was cloudless, silent. An Indian summer sun baked the rows of small white crosses. The honor guard dressed in Air Force blue raised the flag above the casket of the young pilot. Five times the jolt of rifles cracked the air. The bugler raised the trumpet to his lips. On the breeze the strains of “Taps” lingered, faltered, breathlessly faded away. From the widow and the mother, from the sisters and the brother, from the small sea of blue-dressed men and women, there was not a whimper to hear, not a sigh.

Suddenly the silence shattered. Thundering toward the grave of the young pilot, four Phantom fighter jets screamed across the sky. Once they circled low over the rows of small white crosses, over the small blue human sea. Racing again toward the grave site, one plane broke the formation, thrust its steely nose straight up into the sun and vanished.

It is a farewell reserved for heroes. For combat aces and high ranking officers of distinguished career, the acrobats of the air fly by. But the young pilot, who was my brother, had never flown into battle. His prayer was that he would never fly to kill. Educated in the classroom of war, he abhorred the lesson that the innocent are the ultimate victims of the bomb and the sword. When he flew an F-101 jet fighter of the Texas Air National Guard on October 22, 1980, he believed in his mission to protect the innocent with his quicksilver wings of peace.

But the winged horse my brother rode that day was destined to be a Pegasus of power and peril. Seconds after he lifted the huge machine into the air from Ellington Air Force Base, an explosion ripped part of the tail from the plane. On the ground below him a crowded subdivision lay in the path of the flaming, flailing craft. A horrified witness reported: “The jet banked steeply to the left, went into a steep climb and then fell into the open field. It looked to me like the pilot intentionally turned away to avoid hitting those houses.”

In the last 60 seconds of his life, my brother’s only thought must have been of the innocent people living in the innocent safety of their homes below him. The airplane burned into the dust of a pasture just 500 yards away from those homes. The investigators retrieved his helmet from the crash. They bequeathed it to his widow, who keeps it for their small son. Sleep well, brother Greg; your prayer is answered. Never will you fly to kill.

Sifting still through the wreckage of my grief, I wonder. On the day of the Armistice of the first global war – the war that Woodrow Wilson called the war to end all wars – I wonder about the price that the governments of this century have elected to pay in the purchase of peace.

I wonder about all the brave young warriors of this peace, men and women proud of their mission, honored by their duty to safeguard our shores. Do their spouses sleep soundly while they fly through the night? Do the children play fearlessly in the schoolyard as their fathers or mothers crawl into the missile hole at day? Who will remember the heroes of this peace?

A few feet from where my brother now rests, another pilot sleeps. This man, our father, also abhorred violence and war. But as a young man my father saw havoc in the skies above Europe. Dreams of the innocent, the faceless victims of the bombs that fell from his plane, haunted his sleep every night he lived.

Dreamless now, father and son together sleep. The old veteran of war shares the soil of liberty with the young veteran of peace.

Today, the 11th day of November, at the 11th hour in the morning, flags fall to half-staff across the country in honor of the nation’s veterans. The statesmen lay huge floral wreaths at the monuments of the nameless soldiers. The widows crown the crosses of their loved ones with garlands from their gardens. Silence falls for a moment over the burial grounds of the warriors.

Then cannon volley and bugles blare. It is festival time in the graveyard. The 5-year-old son of my dead brother cheers as the mighty Phantom jets scream their power across the sky. He delights in the pageant of the parade marching by. His mother takes his small hand in hers when she cries. What will she tell him when he asks her why?

37 years later, Greg’s flight jacket hangs in my closet

 

The Lunatic Inside Your Head

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Change Your Thoughts, Change Your World

There is a lunatic living inside your head. This lunatic is feeding your mind with fear based thoughts that are distorting your clearest, highest and most accurate perception of the world.
In Zen they call this Monkey Mind. In A Course in Miracles and psychology they call this Ego. The author Steven Pressfield calls this Resistance.
Ego is not your friend.
But you need not be victimized by the fearful, negative, angry thoughts of this lunatic. You can get clear. You can center yourself. You can ease your mind and transcend the lunatic.
The calm you seek is inside of you and as close as your next breath. Meditation can take you there, Music can take you there, Nature can take you there, your Beloved can take you there.
Go there. And go back there as often as you possibly can.
The choice of Love over Fear is yours and it’s the most important choice you will make every day of your life.

 

The Last Time I Saw Greg

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This is the last moment I saw my older brother Greg alive.

July 1980.

He’s goofing around and making all of us laugh, as he often did.

He was 31.

I was 19 as I took this photo.

I was a cadet at the Air Force Academy, aspiring to be a fighter pilot, like he was.

He had become an Air Force pilot like our father, who died when I was four.

We never know when we’re seeing someone we love for the last time.

We’re lulled into believing that there will be many more moments with them.

But this precious existence is fleeting.

On October 22nd 1980, Greg’s fighter jet’s engines flared out shortly after takeoff in East Texas.

Had he and his navigator ejected, the jet would have slammed into a neighborhood.

The two pilots chose to steer the flaming craft into an adjacent field instead.

That’s my brother, Greg.

Funny, Loving, Heroic.

It was 37 years ago today.

Seems like yesterday.

Seems like a million years ago.

Changed everything for countless people.

Damn, I miss him.

And I’m thankful to have had such a wonderful brother.

 

#ThisIsTheSacredMoment #BrothersOfTheSky #HighFlight

 

37 years later, Greg’s flight jacket hangs in my closet

(Above: Greg, his wife Mary Lou and children Taylor and Grant on the last day I saw him / Greg on Kelly AFB tarmac with F-100)

The Last Time I Was In The Shadow of The Moon

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Chris & The Total Eclipse 1991

During the Total Eclipse on July 11, 1991

There is a Total Eclipse of the Sun coming to America on August 21st, just 40 days away as I post this.

I am planning to travel to Hopkinsville, Kentucky to be in the path of totality.

But it won’t be my first experience in the Shadow of the Moon.

Twenty-six years ago today, at high noon, I watched day turn to night in the ancient Aztec village of Ixtlán de las Garzas, Mexico.

For nearly eight minutes (the longest total solar eclipse of the 20th Century) I was bathed in the dark, fleeting Shadow of the Moon.

The Sun disappeared. The stars sparkled in the eerie twilight sky at midday as the temperature fell several degrees.

It was an experience so cosmically profound that its mystical echo reverberates through my psyche all these years later.

Within minutes of the darkness, the Sun emerged from behind the Moon and daytime returned across Mexico.

For human beings to be directly in the Shadow of the Moon is a very rare event. You must either find a way into the path of a total solar eclipse or have been one of the 27 Apollo astronauts who circled around the dark side of the Moon in the late Sixties and early Seventies.

While viewing a lunar eclipse (the Moon moving into the Earth’s shadow) or a partial solar eclipse (the Sun not fully obscured by the shadow of the Moon) is relatively common, a total solar eclipse is one of the rarest celestial events to be witnessed from this planet.

This transcendent moment was especially meaningful because I shared it with one of my dearest friends, Henry Iglesias, a singer-songwriter and Renaissance man.

Henry and his family were originally from Mexico, so were watching this eclipse from his native soil.

Henry was my guide into his ancestral homeland and into the Shadow of the Moon.

1991 Mexico Eclipse

With Henry, hours before the 1991 Mexico Eclipse

Those moments in the Moon’s shadow with Henry were among the most magical moments of my life.

Henry In The Shadow of The Moon

Henry In The Shadow of The Moon

 

In 2007, much too young, Henry left this Earthly existence.  He was taken by a brain tumor nine months after his diagnosis.

Every July 11th, I think of Henry and I think of those few moments in the Shadow of the Moon.

In honor of the Henry and the Eclipse, I offer you two expressions…

The first is a poem of mine and the second is Henry’s quintessential offering, the last song he wrote and produced before his passing.

First, mine…

A remembrance of our time in the Moon’s shadow…

 

“With Henry, In The Shadow Of The Moon”

 

Another time

Another century

Another life.

But the time

And the century

And the life

Were mine.

And his.

Planets were aligning

Celestial spheres inexorably drawn.

Eleventh of July, 1991.

When the heavens offer a gift

You must be present to receive.

He led me into Mexico

The land of his birth

The land would birth me

To transcendence

To bliss

To awe.

I knew he was my friend

I know he was my shaman

Guiding me to the light

And the shadow

Where few have truly been:

Astronauts orbiting the lunar dark side

And fortunate few on the planet

Or dreamers like us

Who seek the shadow.

We arrived on hallowed ground

On ancient Aztec soil

Eyes cast skyward

The shadow rushing toward us

We felt it coming

The animals, birds, insects, trees felt it coming.

All became still

Temperature dropped

Time fell away

And then, oh, so suddenly

It… all… merged…

Sun, Moon, Shadow, Earth

Moon, Earth, Shadow, Sun

Earth, Sun, Shadow, Moon

Sun, Moon, Shadow

Moon, Shadow

Shadow

Shadow

Shadow

Here.

Now.

Day turned to night.

I.

I.  See.

I. See. Stars.

I. See. Stars. At. Noon.

Henry, look at the stars!

And the Sun eclipsed by the Moon

Oh!

My!

God!

Rapt.

Bathed in the splendor

Of the cosmic dance of spheres

In holy, holy, holy communion.

Eternal

My friend, my shaman

Thank you for guiding me there

Years fly by.

You find true love

You write and sing

About the Smile of God

And Brothers of The Sky

And then, oh, so suddenly

Your body eclipsed by a brain tumor

Henry, look at the stars!

They shine with you among them.

The shadow lingers

Your spirit lives.

Another time

Another century

Another life.

If I go back

To seek the shadow

Will you meet me there?

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Years before Henry died, he told me of a vision for a song titled, “Brothers of The Sky.”

It was about our ultimate brother or guide or guardian angel who will fly us from this world to the next.

The idea resonates with me, having lost my older brother Greg at a young age and more recently, having lost Henry and other dear friends and loved ones.

In the final months of his life, although he was battling a brain tumor and all of the debilitating challenges that come with it, Henry managed to record and produce his farewell song as the final track on his last album.

I see it as the culmination of his life’s work as an artist, a father, a son, a husband and a human being.

Here it is, both as a video where I added the images and Henry’s lyrics below…

“Brothers of The Sky”

Words and Music by Henry Iglesias

I am the voice inside of you

A whispering constant in your life

Everyone fears the letting go

Until they glimpse the other side

 

I am the voice from far away

I have the ears that hear your prayer

A guardian angel sent to say

Someone out there really cares

 

I’ll take your hand

When it’s time to walk into the night

Please understand

I am your brother in the sky

 

Traveling across the Universe

Children of the stars that burn so bright

Voyaging to foreverness

You and I are brothers of the sky

 

Everyone finds me their own way

In every land and everywhere

Some take a lifetime, some a day

Seeking a piece of Heaven’s share

 

I am the shining star above

I am the glimmer in the light

I am the power of your love

I am your brother in the sky

 

Just take my hand

When it’s time for you to say goodnight

And we will fly

A wondrous journey deep into the light

 

Traveling across eternity

Going to the place we all have been

Going to the place where souls are free

Beyond the timeless stars are friends

 

Traveling into the other side

The universe is all inside God’s eye

Children of the stars eternally

You and I are brothers of the sky

 

Do not fear your own mortality

Cause there’s more to life than meets the eye

In the end all of us will be free

Don’t be afraid to say goodbye

 

I’ll close your eyes

Softly close your eyes

And we will fly

Like brothers of the sky

 

The Universe

The Universe

The Universe

Is all inside God’s eye

 

Dedicated to the eternal spirit of Henry Robert Iglesias

My Brother of The Sky

 

Leave Them Better Than You Found Them

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I came across a quote today…

“Leave them better than you found them.”

How wonderful is that?

Leave them better than you found them.

What if all of us left people better than when we initially met with them?

In every encounter, doing something to uplift others, inspire others, make others feel better. Without regard for ourselves, but with absolute regard for the other people in our lives.

How much better would all of our lives be?

I strongly believe that the benefits to the provider of such kindness would equal or exceed those of the receiver.

Why not try it?

Direct experience is so much better than theory.

Find out for yourself.

Leave them better than you found them.

And get back to me with your results.

 

One Year Ago Tonight

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Our beloved furry friend transitioned into the spirit world a year ago tonight.

The kitty statuette on the left of the above photo is an urn containing her ashes.

We didn’t really adopt Blackcat.  She adopted us.

She was a feral cat outside our window for many years.

She distrusted humans.  They almost certainly hurt her. An x-ray would eventually reveal she had been shot at some time in her life.

But we crossed paths. We fed her and earned her trust.  And we became a part of her life 15 years ago.

On a cold winter’s night, she needed a warm place to sleep and we had one.

Eventually she moved in with us and became part of our family.

Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is truly saying goodbye to a member of your family.

It is gut wrenching.

She brought us love, laughter and joy.

But on this night a year ago, there were tears, sorrow and grief.

On the evenings before she passed, I would gently pet her.

She purred, as if to say, “I understand. And I love you too.”

Just before midnight, after much reluctance and soul searching, Beth took her to an animal hospital nearby to humanely end her suffering. I was working a Spurs broadcast that night, so I met them at the hospital in time to say goodbye.

The 15 years we had with Blackcat had ended. Moments like these remind us of the fleeting nature of our time together.

When I started my car to pull out of the hospital parking lot, the dashboard clock glowed 12:00 midnight and a song began on a random satellite radio station I happened to be tuned to.

The song was “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri.

I would later learn it was from the “Twilight” movie saga, which I have never seen, and I had not heard the song before.

In the raw emotion and grief of the moment, it was as if a cosmic DJ, the Universe or Blackcat herself played this song just for me.

Here are the lyrics…

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything, take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath, every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Tears streamed down my face, clouding my eyes and transforming the passing city lights, whirling by the windshield, into streaking translucent tears across the starry sky.

Souls cross paths. Human souls and animal souls.

We meet, we dance, we love.

And all too soon, we say goodbye. At least for now.

But that love is eternal.

And we will meet again.

For a thousand years. And a thousand more.

 

 

Equinox

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Equinox arrives

From the heavens
Amid the starry sky
Flashes of lightning
Illuminate awakening
To the season of Spring
And the end of Winter
With its loss and grief
Days growing longer
But for this moment
All is equal
Light and Darkness
Hope and Fear
Pleasure and Pain
Chaos and Serenity
The unseen world appears
Translucently amid the twilight
I open my arms
Gaze to the sky
Listen intently
To the music of the spheres
And I am equal
To the bliss
To the fear
To the love
Welcome Equinox

 

Grievance or Miracle?

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Choose Miracles

Choose Miracles

 

“You can have a grievance or a miracle.

You cannot have both.”

 

This is my favorite line from A Course in Miracles.

A lifetime of experience reveals the wisdom of these twelve words.

They speak to the power of focus, the power of gratitude and the corresponding power of dwelling on the negative.

Miracles rarely occur when we are mired in grievances.

Yet when we appreciate our blessings, they somehow multiply.

There’s the old adage, “What you focus on increases.”

This is a transformative idea.

Do you want to focus on grievances or miracles?

Miracles are everywhere.

All around you.

Your next breath is a miracle.

Start there.

Miracles snowball.

And so do grievances.

The choice is yours.

It’s a big, life altering choice.

You are empowered to choose every moment of your life.

Choose wisely.

Choose miracles.

 

 

Many Paths To The Mountaintop

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Many Paths To The Mountaintop

So many times you’ve been told

There’s only one way to get there

And for so long you believed

The admonitions of those who spoke with authority

As if their chosen path were the only way

Yet somehow their directions did not ring true

Something inside you whispered otherwise

Their maps weren’t meant for you

Your navigation comes from within

An internal guidance

Revealing the way

That only you should travel

Knowing that even if you drift off this path

There’s another

And another

Even the perfect path

That is always a breath away

When you release the māyā

And feel

Your one true path

Of many paths to the mountaintop