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The Last Time I Saw Greg

October 22, 2017 by Chris Duel 2 Comments

 

This is the last moment I saw my older brother Greg alive.

July 1980.

He’s goofing around and making all of us laugh, as he often did.

He was 31.

I was 19 as I took this photo.

I was a cadet at the Air Force Academy, aspiring to be a fighter pilot, like he was.

He had become an Air Force pilot like our father, who died when I was four.

We never know when we’re seeing someone we love for the last time.

We’re lulled into believing that there will be many more moments with them.

But this precious existence is fleeting.

On October 22nd 1980, Greg’s fighter jet’s engines flared out shortly after takeoff in East Texas.

Had he and his navigator ejected, the jet would have slammed into a neighborhood.

The two pilots chose to steer the flaming craft into an adjacent field instead.

That’s my brother, Greg.

Funny, Loving, Heroic.

It was 37 years ago today.

Seems like yesterday.

Seems like a million years ago.

Changed everything for countless people.

Damn, I miss him.

And I’m thankful to have had such a wonderful brother.

 

#ThisIsTheSacredMoment #BrothersOfTheSky #HighFlight

 

37 years later, Greg’s flight jacket hangs in my closet

(Above: Greg, his wife Mary Lou and children Taylor and Grant on the last day I saw him / Greg on Kelly AFB tarmac with F-100)

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Filed Under: America, Autumn, Feeling, Flying, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Flying, grief, Heaven, Love, Soul, Spirit

The Last Time I Was In The Shadow of The Moon

July 11, 2017 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Chris & The Total Eclipse 1991

During the Total Eclipse on July 11, 1991

There is a Total Eclipse of the Sun coming to America on August 21st, just 40 days away as I post this.

I am planning to travel to Hopkinsville, Kentucky to be in the path of totality.

But it won’t be my first experience in the Shadow of the Moon.

Twenty-six years ago today, at high noon, I watched day turn to night in the ancient Aztec village of Ixtlán de las Garzas, Mexico.

For nearly eight minutes (the longest total solar eclipse of the 20th Century) I was bathed in the dark, fleeting Shadow of the Moon.

The Sun disappeared. The stars sparkled in the eerie twilight sky at midday as the temperature fell several degrees.

It was an experience so cosmically profound that its mystical echo reverberates through my psyche all these years later.

Within minutes of the darkness, the Sun emerged from behind the Moon and daytime returned across Mexico.

For human beings to be directly in the Shadow of the Moon is a very rare event. You must either find a way into the path of a total solar eclipse or have been one of the 27 Apollo astronauts who circled around the dark side of the Moon in the late Sixties and early Seventies.

While viewing a lunar eclipse (the Moon moving into the Earth’s shadow) or a partial solar eclipse (the Sun not fully obscured by the shadow of the Moon) is relatively common, a total solar eclipse is one of the rarest celestial events to be witnessed from this planet.

This transcendent moment was especially meaningful because I shared it with one of my dearest friends, Henry Iglesias, a singer-songwriter and Renaissance man.

Henry and his family were originally from Mexico, so were watching this eclipse from his native soil.

Henry was my guide into his ancestral homeland and into the Shadow of the Moon.

1991 Mexico Eclipse

With Henry, hours before the 1991 Mexico Eclipse

Those moments in the Moon’s shadow with Henry were among the most magical moments of my life.

Henry In The Shadow of The Moon

Henry In The Shadow of The Moon

 

In 2007, much too young, Henry left this Earthly existence.  He was taken by a brain tumor nine months after his diagnosis.

Every July 11th, I think of Henry and I think of those few moments in the Shadow of the Moon.

In honor of the Henry and the Eclipse, I offer you two expressions…

The first is a poem of mine and the second is Henry’s quintessential offering, the last song he wrote and produced before his passing.

First, mine…

A remembrance of our time in the Moon’s shadow…

 

“With Henry, In The Shadow Of The Moon”

 

Another time

Another century

Another life.

But the time

And the century

And the life

Were mine.

And his.

Planets were aligning

Celestial spheres inexorably drawn.

Eleventh of July, 1991.

When the heavens offer a gift

You must be present to receive.

He led me into Mexico

The land of his birth

The land would birth me

To transcendence

To bliss

To awe.

I knew he was my friend

I know he was my shaman

Guiding me to the light

And the shadow

Where few have truly been:

Astronauts orbiting the lunar dark side

And fortunate few on the planet

Or dreamers like us

Who seek the shadow.

We arrived on hallowed ground

On ancient Aztec soil

Eyes cast skyward

The shadow rushing toward us

We felt it coming

The animals, birds, insects, trees felt it coming.

All became still

Temperature dropped

Time fell away

And then, oh, so suddenly

It… all… merged…

Sun, Moon, Shadow, Earth

Moon, Earth, Shadow, Sun

Earth, Sun, Shadow, Moon

Sun, Moon, Shadow

Moon, Shadow

Shadow

Shadow

Shadow

Here.

Now.

Day turned to night.

I.

I.  See.

I. See. Stars.

I. See. Stars. At. Noon.

Henry, look at the stars!

And the Sun eclipsed by the Moon

Oh!

My!

God!

Rapt.

Bathed in the splendor

Of the cosmic dance of spheres

In holy, holy, holy communion.

Eternal

My friend, my shaman

Thank you for guiding me there

Years fly by.

You find true love

You write and sing

About the Smile of God

And Brothers of The Sky

And then, oh, so suddenly

Your body eclipsed by a brain tumor

Henry, look at the stars!

They shine with you among them.

The shadow lingers

Your spirit lives.

Another time

Another century

Another life.

If I go back

To seek the shadow

Will you meet me there?

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Years before Henry died, he told me of a vision for a song titled, “Brothers of The Sky.”

It was about our ultimate brother or guide or guardian angel who will fly us from this world to the next.

The idea resonates with me, having lost my older brother Greg at a young age and more recently, having lost Henry and other dear friends and loved ones.

In the final months of his life, although he was battling a brain tumor and all of the debilitating challenges that come with it, Henry managed to record and produce his farewell song as the final track on his last album.

I see it as the culmination of his life’s work as an artist, a father, a son, a husband and a human being.

Here it is, both as a video where I added the images and Henry’s lyrics below…

“Brothers of The Sky”

Words and Music by Henry Iglesias

I am the voice inside of you

A whispering constant in your life

Everyone fears the letting go

Until they glimpse the other side

 

I am the voice from far away

I have the ears that hear your prayer

A guardian angel sent to say

Someone out there really cares

 

I’ll take your hand

When it’s time to walk into the night

Please understand

I am your brother in the sky

 

Traveling across the Universe

Children of the stars that burn so bright

Voyaging to foreverness

You and I are brothers of the sky

 

Everyone finds me their own way

In every land and everywhere

Some take a lifetime, some a day

Seeking a piece of Heaven’s share

 

I am the shining star above

I am the glimmer in the light

I am the power of your love

I am your brother in the sky

 

Just take my hand

When it’s time for you to say goodnight

And we will fly

A wondrous journey deep into the light

 

Traveling across eternity

Going to the place we all have been

Going to the place where souls are free

Beyond the timeless stars are friends

 

Traveling into the other side

The universe is all inside God’s eye

Children of the stars eternally

You and I are brothers of the sky

 

Do not fear your own mortality

Cause there’s more to life than meets the eye

In the end all of us will be free

Don’t be afraid to say goodbye

 

I’ll close your eyes

Softly close your eyes

And we will fly

Like brothers of the sky

 

The Universe

The Universe

The Universe

Is all inside God’s eye

 

Dedicated to the eternal spirit of Henry Robert Iglesias

My Brother of The Sky

 

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Filed Under: Bliss, Cosmos, Dreams, Eclipse, Flying, grief, Heaven, Henry Iglesias, Life, Love, Miracles, Moon, Poetry, Shadow, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: Chris Duel, Eclipse, Henry Iglesias, Moon, Sun

One Year Ago Tonight

April 8, 2017 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Our beloved furry friend transitioned into the spirit world a year ago tonight.

The kitty statuette on the left of the above photo is an urn containing her ashes.

We didn’t really adopt Blackcat.  She adopted us.

She was a feral cat outside our window for many years.

She distrusted humans.  They almost certainly hurt her. An x-ray would eventually reveal she had been shot at some time in her life.

But we crossed paths. We fed her and earned her trust.  And we became a part of her life 15 years ago.

On a cold winter’s night, she needed a warm place to sleep and we had one.

Eventually she moved in with us and became part of our family.

Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is truly saying goodbye to a member of your family.

It is gut wrenching.

She brought us love, laughter and joy.

But on this night a year ago, there were tears, sorrow and grief.

On the evenings before she passed, I would gently pet her.

She purred, as if to say, “I understand. And I love you too.”

Just before midnight, after much reluctance and soul searching, Beth took her to an animal hospital nearby to humanely end her suffering. I was working a Spurs broadcast that night, so I met them at the hospital in time to say goodbye.

The 15 years we had with Blackcat had ended. Moments like these remind us of the fleeting nature of our time together.

When I started my car to pull out of the hospital parking lot, the dashboard clock glowed 12:00 midnight and a song began on a random satellite radio station I happened to be tuned to.

The song was “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri.

I would later learn it was from the “Twilight” movie saga, which I have never seen, and I had not heard the song before.

In the raw emotion and grief of the moment, it was as if a cosmic DJ, the Universe or Blackcat herself played this song just for me.

Here are the lyrics…

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything, take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath, every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Tears streamed down my face, clouding my eyes and transforming the passing city lights, whirling by the windshield, into streaking translucent tears across the starry sky.

Souls cross paths. Human souls and animal souls.

We meet, we dance, we love.

And all too soon, we say goodbye. At least for now.

But that love is eternal.

And we will meet again.

For a thousand years. And a thousand more.

 

 

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Filed Under: Feeling, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Miracles, Music, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Chris Duel, Consciousness, Duel, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Soul, Spirit

Equinox

March 20, 2017 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Equinox arrives

From the heavens
Amid the starry sky
Flashes of lightning
Illuminate awakening
To the season of Spring
And the end of Winter
With its loss and grief
Days growing longer
But for this moment
All is equal
Light and Darkness
Hope and Fear
Pleasure and Pain
Chaos and Serenity
The unseen world appears
Translucently amid the twilight
I open my arms
Gaze to the sky
Listen intently
To the music of the spheres
And I am equal
To the bliss
To the fear
To the love
Welcome Equinox

 

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Filed Under: Beginning, Bliss, Cosmos, Crisis, Dreams, Equinox, Feeling, Flying, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Miracles, Music, New, Opportunity, Poetry, Shadow, Soul, Spirit, Wisdom Tagged With: Chris Duel, Equinox

The Last Time I Saw Greg

October 22, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Greg

This is the last moment I saw my older brother Greg alive.

July 1980.

He’s goofing around and making all of us laugh, as he often did.

He was 31.

I was 19 as I took this photo.

I was a cadet at the Air Force Academy, aspiring to be a fighter pilot, like he was.

He had become an Air Force pilot like our father, who died when I was four.

We never know when we’re seeing someone we love for the last time.

We’re lulled into believing that there will be many more moments with them.

But this precious existence is fleeting.

On October 22nd 1980, Greg’s fighter jet’s engines flared out shortly after takeoff in East Texas.

Had he and his navigator ejected, the jet would have slammed into a neighborhood.

The two pilots chose to steer the flaming craft into an adjacent field instead.

That’s my brother, Greg.

Funny, Loving, Heroic.

It was 36 years ago today.

Seems like yesterday.

Seems like a million years ago.

Changed everything for countless people.

Damn, I miss him.

And I’m thankful to have had such a wonderful brother.

 

#ThisIsTheSacredMoment #BrothersOfTheSky

 

36 years later, Greg's flight jacket hangs in my closet

36 years later, Greg’s flight jacket hangs in my closet

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Filed Under: America, Dreams, Flying, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: #BrothersOfTheSky, #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, Flying, grief, Soul, Spirit

And Still I Grieve

October 22, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

october22nd

 

A father.

A husband.

A son.

A brother.

A friend.

A man.

A hero.

October 22nd 1980.

Everything changed.

In the blink of an eye.

His life ended.

And still I grieve.

 

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Filed Under: Autumn, Flying, Ghosts, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: grief

We are Ghosts, Sleepwalking in the Dreamscape

October 1, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment


I was randomly flipping through a journal from last year and stumbled upon the passage above.

The word “ghosts” reminded me of the final track of Dan Fogelberg’s 1981 album, The Innocent Age.

The song is “Ghosts.” It’s mystical, haunting and evocative. On many levels, it’s my favorite Fogelberg tune and most people have probably never heard it.
It’s one of those songs that can take you into another dimension.

It’s fascinating that dimensions ranging from Heaven to Hell, from despair to bliss, are accessible in virtually every moment.

Here is Dan Fogelberg’s “Ghosts” via YouTube.  I didn’t create the video, but it’s not a bad visualization of the song…

 

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Filed Under: Autumn, Bliss, Cosmos, Dan Fogelberg, Dreams, Feeling, Ghosts, grief, Heaven, Life, Music, Shadow, Soul, Spirit, Wisdom Tagged With: #ThisIsTheSacredMoment, BeHereNow, Bliss, Breath, Consciousness, Cosmos, DanFogelberg, DownloadingYourSoul, Dreamscape, Fogelberg, Ghosts, Sleepwalking, Spirit, TheInnocentAge, Truth

The Summer of Our Discontent

July 8, 2016 by Chris Duel 4 Comments

 

American Summer 2016

American Summer 2016

How do we make sense of the senseless?

Beheadings and car bombs on the other side of the world.

Civilian “soft targets,” from Paris to Brussels to Istanbul, suicide bombed by “martyrs” in the name of their God.

A slaughter in an Orlando nightclub.

Over 2,000 gun deaths in Chicago this year.

Cell phone video of highly questionable shootings of African Americans.

And now, the ambush and assassination of Dallas Police officers during an otherwise peaceful protest.

Ironically, this most recent national tragedy occurred very close to Dealey Plaza, the site of America’s most notorious assassination.

How do we make sense of the senseless? 

We cannot.

But there are things we can do.

We can affect our own individual spheres of influence. 

Our family, friends, neighbors and communities.

It starts small.  It starts organically.  It starts with you.  And it grows.

We can choose reason over insanity.

We can choose light over darkness.

We can choose love over fear.

We can increase the peace. 

In our communities, in our state, in our nation, in our world.

The good people in this world vastly outnumber the misguided, vicious ones.

I am convinced that in the end, love wins.

We just need to consciously, actively intend the light and the love a little more.

 

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Filed Under: America, Blood, Crisis, Fear, grief, Love, Opportunity, Prayers, Shadow, Uncategorized Tagged With: America, Dallas, Dallas Police, Dallas Shooting, Fear, Love, Tragedy

“The Love You Take Is Equal To The Love You Make”

June 19, 2016 by Chris Duel 1 Comment

With Alan Weinkrantz at the 2014 KLRN Auction

With Alan Weinkrantz at the 2014 KLRN Auction – June 21, 2014

Last night, in the blink of an eye, my friend Alan Weinkrantz left this world.

He was sitting down to dinner in an outdoor sidewalk cafe on a beautiful, starry June night.

I saw the news of his death appear on my iPhone around 9:30pm while I was participating in the final night of the KLRN Auction, raising funds for San Antonio’s PBS television station.  Seconds later, KLRN VP Katrina Kehoe walked down the stairs from her position coordinating auction activities.  I could see by the look of shock on her face that she had just read the news as well.  We couldn’t wrap our heads around the notion that Alan was gone.

Alan volunteered for the KLRN Auction every year.  He would probably have been with us last night if he were not in Israel, where he traveled frequently to participate in the country’s growing tech community.

When I read that Alan died at a Tel Aviv sidewalk cafe, my first thought was that an act of terror must have taken place. This was not terrorism, however, but a very tragic accident.

Reports indicate that as Alan was having dinner, a man had a heart attack while driving his car at a high rate of speed.  The out of control vehicle instantaneously jumped the curb and slammed into the tables of the outdoor cafe.

Alan, another restaurant patron and the driver were killed at the scene.  Six others were injured.

Alan was a wonderful man who exuded joy and enthusiasm.  He was an evangelist and mentor for the tech and start up communities in San Antonio, in Israel and around the world.

He had a passion for technology, innovation, entrepreneurship and music.  We shared a love for The Beatles and had wonderful conversations about the brilliance of their songs.

One of the most mind expanding ideas that Alan shared with me was that rock and roll music is code, akin to the code that is used to program computer software and apps.

Alan Weinkrantz's 1005 Faces photo

Alan Weinkrantz’s 1005 Faces photo

As Alan said in this interview,

The idea began during I period when I was spending a lot of time at a good friend’s high-end guitar shop in San Antonio. Being surrounded by music all the time I started studying the history of rock n’ roll. And then it hit me.

It’s all code.

I went back in time, listening to old albums from the Kinks, the Who, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones. I realized that all the albums, the songs, the lyrics — they’re code. The code isn’t manifested as “lines of code” but rather in the stories built, layered and played.

If you look at the way musical history progressed, it seems each band was creating a new experience for their audience — not just musically but, story wise. We’re talking about their narrative, where they came from, how they got famous, their clothes, their sound and the overall experience which is just as important as the music itself — if not more.

Just like startups.

And just like startups, Rock & roll bands, work together iteratively. Collaboratively. And hopefully, harmonically.

I will always remember Alan for his contagious sense of wonder and his passion for big ideas. He mentored people of all ages seeking to find their path in a complex digital world, including me.

I trust he’s now in Rock and Roll Heaven, making music, creating code and embarking on his next cosmic adventures.

In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.  – The Beatles

Beatles fan Alan Weinkrantz on Abbey Road

Beatles fan Alan Weinkrantz on Abbey Road

 

Learn more about Alan in this story by Bob Rivard in his Rivard Report.

Alan's Facebook Cover Photo - His laptop at a sidewalk cafe

Alan’s Facebook cover photo – His laptop at a sidewalk cafe

Above:  Alan’s Facebook cover photo.  His Mac at night at an outdoor cafe with the words, “Do Something That Matters.”

Perfect.

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Filed Under: Cosmos, grief, Heaven, Life, Love, Music, Solstice, Soul, Spirit, Uncategorized, Wisdom Tagged With: Alan Weinkrantz, Beatles, Israel, KLRN, San Antonio, Tel Aviv, The Beatles, Weinkrantz

Farewell for a Furry Friend

April 4, 2016 by Chris Duel Leave a Comment

Blackcat2015

We didn’t really adopt Blackcat.  She adopted us.

She was a feral cat outside our window for many years.

She distrusted humans.  They almost certainly hurt her. An x-ray showed she had been shot at some time in her life.

But we crossed paths.  And we became a part of her life 15 years ago.

On a cold winter’s night many years ago, she needed a warm place to sleep and we had one.

Eventually she moved in with us and became part of our family.

Now she is slowly transitioning into the next world.

Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is saying goodbye to a member of your family.

It is gut wrenching.

She has brought us love, laughter and joy.

Now there are tears and sorrow.

I just went to gently pet her.

She purred, as if to say, “I understand. And I love you too.”

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Filed Under: grief, Shadow, Soul, Spirit Tagged With: Cats

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